The Leadership Guide to Letting People Go (Before It’s Too Late)
As a leader, there are certain decisions that will test your ability to lead with integrity, courage, and a deep understanding of your team and the culture you’ve worked so hard to build. One of the most difficult, yet necessary decisions is the moment when you realise that someone on your team needs to go. This isn’t because they’ve done anything obviously wrong, it’s because their presence is slowly but surely eroding the culture, trust, and momentum that you’ve worked so hard to create.
This situation is far more subtle than any of the other leadership challenges you may face. It’s not about managing crises or chasing growth, it’s not about performance reviews or strategic plans. It’s that quiet, uncomfortable moment when you begin to feel that someone’s energy, behaviour, or influence is shifting the dynamics of your team in a way that no longer serves the collective good.
They may appear competent on paper, have a strong track record, and present well in meetings, but there’s something about their presence that causes a ripple effect. You’ll notice how the conversations around them start to shrink, the energy in the room subtly shifts, and the initiative others once took starts to diminish. People begin second-guessing themselves, hesitating before speaking up or taking action. And all the while, there’s no immediate “incident” or clear reason for their behaviour. The problem is more persistent and far harder to pin down.
Understanding the Subtle Red Flags
The hardest people to manage are often the ones who don’t show any obvious signs of misbehaviour. They are not late to meetings, they’re not missing deadlines, and they’re not causing visible conflict. Instead, they are the ones who, over time, begin to undermine the culture in more subtle ways. They may hoard information, resist change, or derail progress under the guise of being a “devil’s advocate.” They deliver just enough to stay out of trouble but not enough to elevate the team or the work.
As a leader, you will start to feel drained by them showing up uninspired, week after week, and yet, because their dysfunction is often masked, you might begin to question your own perceptions. You’ll rationalise the situation, delay taking action, and avoid making the difficult decision, but when another team member voices a quiet concern or a trusted colleague asks a question you’ve been hesitant to raise, that’s when you know…. It’s time to act. If it took that much hesitation for someone to say it out loud, it’s likely been a problem for much longer than you’ve realised.
The Temptation to Avoid the Tough Conversation
As human beings, it’s natural to want to avoid discomfort. The instinct to delay is a response to our fear of conflict or making the wrong decision. As leaders, we often find ourselves thinking things like, “Maybe it’s just a clash of personalities,” or “Perhaps the person raising the issue is being overly sensitive.” We may even tell ourselves that “They’ve been with the company so long, we owe them a chance.” These thoughts may provide temporary comfort, but they are often masks for the deeper issue… our own discomfort with confronting a difficult reality.
The truth is, problems like these rarely fix themselves. The longer you avoid taking action, the higher the cost becomes. Every day you avoid the hard conversation, the more you risk letting a toxic dynamic fester, erode morale, and diminish the effectiveness of your team.
Leadership is not about avoiding discomfort, it’s about making the hard decisions that ultimately benefit the greater good.
Why Curiosity is a Better Strategy Than Judgment
When you begin to feel like something is off, your first step shouldn’t be confrontation. Instead, it should be inquiry. It’s crucial that you approach the situation with curiosity and a desire to understand, rather than jumping to conclusions or making assumptions about the person’s motivations.
Ask questions that invite reflection, such as:
What parts of your role are energising for you?
What areas feel unclear or frustrating?
Where do you feel underutilised or overextended?
If we were to redesign your role around your strengths, what would that look like?
By taking this approach, you may uncover a deeper understanding of whether the issue lies with the person’s role or their alignment within the team. It’s possible that they are in the wrong role, misaligned with the company’s values, or struggling with a dynamic that isn’t allowing them to thrive. You may find an opportunity to support them through coaching or role adjustments. However, if after these conversations nothing changes, it may be time to make a more difficult call.
The Hidden Costs of Hanging On
When you hold onto someone who is no longer a good fit for the team, you’re not just impacting your bottom line, you’re also damaging the very fabric of your team and culture. The longer the misfit stays, the more it will slow momentum, breed silence, amplify friction, and erode psychological safety.
High performers will start to disengage, your leadership will be questioned, meetings will become tense and unproductive. Innovation will stall and trust will begin to leak out of your company like air from a punctured tyre.
Some people may look brilliant on paper, but in practice, they can be a poor fit. They may bring experience, but their toxic attitude or lack of alignment with the culture can have a far-reaching impact. Leadership is about knowing when “not quite right” is already doing damage, long before things reach a breaking point.
Real Leaders Know When It’s Time to Let Go
Letting someone go doesn’t need to be a sign of failure. In fact, it can be one of the most courageous acts of leadership. It’s about recognising that a person, role, or dynamic is no longer a fit and making the decision to act before the problem grows any bigger. It’s about maintaining the integrity of your culture and protecting the future success of your team.
When you let someone go, you’re making a statement to the rest of your team:
I choose the culture I want to lead.
I will protect the people who are building this culture with me.
I will not tolerate behaviours that quietly corrode trust and morale.
This decision requires clarity, compassion, and courage. It’s not about vilifying the individual, it’s about recognising that both the team and the individual would be better off in different environments. Sometimes, the most generous thing you can do for someone is to give them the space to grow elsewhere.
How Do You Know It’s Time?
The signs that it’s time to let someone go are often not as obvious as they seem but when you start noticing these patterns, it’s time to pay attention:
They have stopped learning or growing.
They consistently perform poorly under pressure.
Multiple team members have raised concerns.
You spend more time managing them than leading the rest of the team.
The energy in the room shifts negatively when they enter.
If you’ve provided feedback, shifted roles, and offered support, but nothing changes, the reality is that it’s time to act. Keep in mind that the longer you delay, the more damage will be done to your team and your culture.
Conclusion
When the time comes to let someone go, approach the conversation with honesty, respect, and a steady sense of leadership. It is not a moment to outsource to a policy or to hide behind a HR script. It's a moment that asks for your full humanity. Sit with the person, speak to them directly, and treat them as you would hope to be treated in the same position, not as a liability or a problem to solve, but as a person whose journey has simply taken a different direction from the path your organisation needs to walk.
These conversations are rarely easy, and they aren’t supposed to be. That discomfort is the cost of leading with integrity. Resist the temptation to depersonalise or sugarcoat, you don’t need to vilify the individual, and you don’t need to over-explain either. What you do need is clarity, acknowledge that while the person may have brought value in the past, the role they hold is no longer aligned with the direction, the needs, or the future of the business.
Leadership is not about avoiding difficult decisions, it is about knowing when to make them, and how to do so with grace and strength. It’s about holding the long-term wellbeing of your team, your culture, and your mission above short term comfort. It’s also about recognising that sometimes, the kindest and most generous thing you can do, for your team, for your business, and for the person in front of you, is to make the hard decision to let go. Not to punish, but to release to make space for alignment, growth, and the next right fit for all involved.
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